Gay Couple Was Denied I.V.F. Benefits. They Say That’s Discriminatory.

They were denied, the couple said, so the following month they turned to New York City Law Department, saying that they wanted equal treatment and a change in the policy.

Mr. Romer-Friedman said: “The response that we got from the city’s lawyers was that they’re not going to change the policy. And they weren’t going to talk to us about changing the policy.”

Currently 19 states have some kind of infertility insurance law in place, but only 13 states, including New York, require employers with a certain number of employees to offer insurance coverage for in vitro fertilization specifically, according to Betsy Campbell, chief engagement officer at Resolve: The National Infertility Association, an advocacy group.

It’s unclear how many cities across the country offer I.V.F. coverage to city employees, but Delaware, Maryland, Massachusetts, and New Jersey offer I.V.F. coverage to their state employees, Ms. Campbell said.

The written language of most mandates and insurance guidelines usually define infertility in heterosexual terms no matter employees’ public or private sector status. Straight couples must attempt to get pregnant for a year before receiving any financial help.

“I think there are a number of I.V.F. laws that still use a heteronormative definition of infertility that does discriminate against the L.G.B.T. community,” Ms. Campbell said.

Though lesbian couples and single women sometimes have to pay out-of-pocket costs first, most insurance policies also allow them to meet the definition of infertile through intrauterine insemination. Victoria Ferrara, a Connecticut attorney specializing in assisted reproductive technology law, said same-sex male couples are frequently discriminated against in policies.

“They can’t even try to get pregnant,” Ms. Ferrara, who also runs a surrogacy agency, said. “So they don’t meet this hyper-technical definition of infertility. And that’s been the excuse that the insurance companies are using to deny them benefits.”