The undertakers, carers and educators trying to make Hong Kong a better place to

The day that Chen Pui-hing received a phone call from a distraught woman was like any other. Sounding shaken, the woman thanked Chen for picking up, saying he was her only hope.

The call came at an uncanny time. Minutes earlier, Chen had received a news notification on his mobile phone: a 17-year-old parkour enthusiast had fallen to his death in Tsim Sha Tsui when a practice session on a high-rise rooftop went awry. The woman on the line was the boy’s mother. Through tears, she sighed with relief after Chen – an undertaker – agreed to arrange her son’s funeral. 

Although he is not a counsellor or a therapist, Chen hopes to help people.

As an undertaker, Chen offers companionship to the bereaved to help them through difficult times. Through his job, he tries to bring a sense of humanity to the deceased in what are otherwise often sterile and inhuman funeral parlours. For example, he seeks to make the deceased look as much like they did when they were alive as possible. This, he told HKFP, helps bring some comfort to grief-stricken families. 

He discovered his calling while still in secondary school. A teacher played Departures in class, a Japanese film about a funeral director’s quest to bring humanity to the deceased, and the young Chen saw a line of work that sought to “celebrate a life” and help bereaved families “find answers,” he said. 

After his studies, he founded the NGO HOBBYHK with like-minded friends, through which he focuses on life and death education. When not directing funerals, he organises unique workshops, including mock funerals, with the aim of helping participants cope with mortality and the meaning of life.

One of Chen’s more unconventional workshops centres on death notes. The subject of these notes may vary: some may be about the recent passing of family members or feeling lost in life, while others may explore the experience of miscarriage. Participants play both the writer and the recipient, allowing them to express their feelings and emotions from different perspectives.

According to Chen, exercises such as this encourage people to think about what truly matters to them. 

“People may say ‘carpe diem’ all the time, but it doesn’t mean much if someone feels lost at that moment. Rather, if life and death education can guide them spiritually, they can find a stronger sense of belonging, some peace to lean on, and let go of trivialities,” Chen said.   

Ultimately, Chen wants the funerals and workshops he directs to be about “carrying on the meaning of life,” honouring the connection between the living and the dead, and helping people determine who and what are most important to them. 

“We live in a time when meaning is scarce, and we don’t see meaning in what we do. But no matter how old we are, experiencing traumatic changes can make us question life’s meaning….