Tips for planning group travel

Within days, the trip devolved into his “worst nightmare.”

Cracks quickly showed up: He is organized and likes to have “an itinerary, plus a Plan A and Plan B,” while she is more spontaneous. He grew frustrated at not having time to explore on his own and felt his priorities were being ignored. They even fought over his snoring. Minor disagreements and snipes culminated in a blowup fight in Berlin. The next time he saw her was at the airport, where she switched her seat on the plane they had booked together back to Brussels. Aburto spent the last three days there trying to salvage the trip alone.

They haven’t spoken since he left Europe a month ago, although they got together for coffee just before he flew home, and he’s hopeful they’ll patch up their relationship with time. But he’ll think twice before traveling with friends again. “It does make me sad, because I feel like this trip completely bombed an amazing relationship,” he said.

The chance to see new places and make memories with friends is appealing, but much can go wrong. Personalities can clash, goals can differ, well-meaning planners can make boneheaded mistakes. Whether it’s a weekend lark or a multiweek international excursion, here’s how to move a trip from an idea to reality — and how to survive it with friendships intact.

Set (and agree on) expectations. Clarifying the goal of the trip can make the planning process easier. A trip to Paris with the purpose of seeing as many museums as possible will have a faster pace and more scheduled outings than a chill weekend at a lake house. Talk about what most of the group wants to do, and people can decide whether they want to participate. On a recent New York birthday weekend with friends, for instance, I made it clear that I would not stay out as late at clubs as the rest of the group.

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Nail down dates early. One of the hardest parts about group travel is getting everyone to commit. People have busy schedules and varying amounts of time off; create a Google or Doodle form, and ask everyone to look at their calendars and provide date ranges when they’re free. Pick the dates with the most overlap.

“If you’re the person corralling these trips, you need to be prepared for not everyone to go,” said David Bell, 27, a physics PhD student at the University of Washington in Seattle who has traveled with his group of high school friends every couple of years since 2013. “There’s not going to be a perfect date.”

Pick a group organizer. The trip won’t happen if no one takes charge. Vanessa Bowling Ajavon, founder of the Girls Vacation Club, a D.C.-based…