Latest variant of Trump Derangement Syndrome on the rise

For about 10 minutes this week, it was like the good old days for state-run media — they thought they had finally gaffed him this time, Donald J. Trump, the great orange whale that the Captain Ahabs of fake news have been pursuing all these years.

Gaps in the White House phone logs of Jan. 6! Worse than Watergate!

It was a bombshell, the walls were closing in, it was a turning point, a tipping point, breaking news, the beginning of the end, whistleblowers, dark clouds, monumental implications, a watershed.

Until, as always, it wasn’t. Instead it was yet another Emily Litella moment.

Never mind!

If you blinked, you missed this latest Trumpian non-scandal. Like radioactive materials, the concocted bombshells’ half-lives grow ever shorter. This one was like a shooting star.

In case you missed it, or more likely paid no attention to the Chicken Littles who’ve been peddling the same made-up nonsense for more than six years now, this time Trump was accused of somehow erasing the White House phone logs for more than seven hours on Jan. 6, 2021.

Because the Democrat operatives think it’s more believable if they throw in precise falsehoods, they had exact times — from 11:17 a.m. until 6:54 p.m.

It was the biggest story in the world until it wasn’t. It was such an embarrassment that it was left to CNN — which is to fake news what Fredo was to the Corleones, that is to say the embarrassing runt of the litter — to clean up the smelly mess in Aisle Biden.

CNN headline: “Official review of Trump phone logs from Jan. 6 finds record is complete.”

Huh? Complete? But wait … wait … Just hours earlier, two avatars of fake news — the Washington Post and CBS News — had finally cracked the case.

For the Post, it was wrinkly Democrat operative Bob Woodward, who is the same age as Dementia Joe Biden (79), and just as about mentally acute. Not to mention, Woodward is beginning to sound like Sen. Susan Collins, and he even looks a little like her, too.

Woodward was famous long ago. He was the Democrats’ go-to stenographer during Watergate.

You know the old saying, if all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

To Woodward and his rusty hammer, everything looks like Watergate.

Thus the Democrat dirty trickster pronounced the latest handout from his puppet-masters on Capitol Hill to be “astonishing … astonishing.”

He said this to MSNBC’s Lawrence O’Donnell, of “stop the hammering!” fame. Still digging on that big blockbuster of yours about Trump and Deutsche Bank, Larry?

Trump’s fiendish plot to circumvent the antiquated White House switchboard was effectuated with new weapons of infernal destruction called — cue the ominous music — “burner phones.”

You may know them as “cell phones.” Perhaps you even own one of these sinister devices.

Apparently Trump uses … cell phones? Obviously, it’s time for a third impeachment trial.

The Democrats and the media (but I repeat myself) lap up these fake stories about Trump and cell phones and Russians. Remember the Post’s front-page scoop about how Russians were hacking into the U.S. electrical grid? Turned out it was a guy in Vermont checking his…