Kate at 40: friends and ex-aides give account of royal’s journey
As she prepares to turn 40 next weekend, the Duchess of Cambridge knows that by her next landmark birthday, she’ll have become the Princess of Wales — a title that’s lain dormant since the death of Diana, the mother-in-law she never met.
As with everything associated with the Royal Family, her apprenticeship as future queen has been slow. Too slow, say some. But, astutely alert to the royals’ unflustered ways, Kate has refused to be rushed.
Of course, one of our monarchy’s immutable strengths is its repudiation of the modern fad to bend to prevailing fashion.
Significantly, too, Kate has brought another unswerving value to the Royal Family: the Middletons’ way of doing things. Steadfast and unflashy. These principles have steeled her to deal with life in the public eye — and, crucially, to handle the toxic fall-out of Prince Harry and Meghan’s break from the family.
To mark the duchess’s birthday, I have talked to many of those closest to her — some agreeing to speak for the first time — about how she has, at long last, come into her own and is blooming, both professionally and personally.
Her private secretary, Rebecca Priestley (nee Deacon), who worked for the duchess for seven years, recalled how newlyweds William and Kate approached the daunting task of a life committed to public service together as if it was a ‘blank piece of paper’.
In tune: The duchess performing at a royal carol concert last month
All three were in Anglesey in 2011, where the couple had chosen to spend their first years of married life while William worked as an RAF Search and Rescue pilot.
Rebecca says of their conversation: ‘I said: ‘Right, what next? You have the philanthropic world at your feet. There are so many directions you can go in terms of causes you can get involved in.’
‘Catherine [as William prefers her to be known] had clearly put a lot of thought into it and made very clear that, for her, it was about listening and learning.’
For his part, William had impressed on his bride the need for them to take their time.
Another of the couple’s collaborators told me: ‘And that’s exactly what she has done — with William as her guide. He’s encouraged her to do things gradually, saying: ‘This is for you to work out how you want to do it.’
‘He may not shout from the roof-tops about equality, but theirs is a true partnership.’
Some critics felt frustrated at the new duchess’s cautious approach, and she was cruelly dubbed the Duchess of Dolittle.
The public had waited years for a young, glamorous new member of the Royal Family, but, wisely, Kate realised it would be a fool’s errand to try to take on Diana’s mantle. Instead, she assumed more the Queen Mother’s ‘steel marshmallow’ character.
Pictured: With Meghan on the Buckingham Palace balcony in 2019
‘Catherine wanted to get under the skin of this new role and the challenges she was about to take on,’ says Rebecca Priestley.
‘She wanted to learn. There were a lot of under-the-radar visits and she saw people privately to help her understand the issues she wanted to put her name to.
‘These were lifelong decisions she was taking. She wanted to have credibility when she spoke. And that actually takes huge…
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